Sending your refund to someone else's bank account is a really bad idea. If your name is not on the account, the bank will refuse the deposit and send it back. Then a paper check has to be issued and mailed to the address on your tax return--delaying your refund for weeks. You would be better off to just allow the IRS to issue a check and mail it to you in the first place---then deal with depositing or cashing the check.
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No. Unless you are listed on her account and you share ownership of the account as well. You cannot have your refund deposited on another person's account unless you are listed as well.